An Honest Gratitude List for a Busy Family

With Thanksgiving and the holidays upon us, now seems like the perfect time to put together a list of things we’re grateful for. Aside from the on-the-spot “giving of thanks” around the table over turkey and stuffing, this is not something we articulate as often as we should. Life moves fast and both my wife and I have careers that require a lot of attention and energy. Our boys (8 and almost 12) keep us moving with school, sports, and dispute mediation, and our dog, Sam, while great for providing companionship and emotional support, does not help out much, other than retrieving a lost piece of food. Finding a moment to reflect, here’s an honest list of what I am grateful for this season.

Outings that reset the room
A quick loop for coffee, a smoothie, a walk for Sam, or a bike ride to let the kids burn energy does more for our household than any motivational quote. The beach, when we venture there, lowers my blood pressure since there’s hardly anything the kids can break. Fresh air, fewer screens, and everyone being restrained in a moving vehicle improves all of our moods.

The village that it takes
Close friends, neighbors, and relatives make the small emergencies smaller: a last-minute school or sports pickup, a place to drop off the kids when we both have to work, an emergency dog feeding or walk. We do our best to bank reciprocal favors in advance when we can.

Youth sports and the gift of tired kids
Practices, games, and coaches – we thank you. The boys come home hungry and (relatively) calm. In my opinion, sports are the best thing kids can be doing for the combination of exercise, teamwork, accountability, and an activity that keeps them from roaming the streets (or destroying our house). That’s a win I’ll take every time.

The infrastructure that quietly works
Reliable Wi-Fi, a car that starts, an EV charger that actually charges, a dishwasher that doesn’t sound like a helicopter. These things aren’t exciting until they fail. When they don’t, the week stays upright.

The adults behind the scenes
Teachers, office staff, my work assistant, and the babysitter. Our days run because they show up prepared. God knows, their jobs are not my strengths, but I am grateful for the ability to stay in my lane and delegate with a smile.

Reasonable shortcuts
Grubhub, Rotisserie chicken in the bag, pizza delivery. Paper plates if we don’t feel like doing dishes. ChatGPT for article ideas (I admit it). “Good” beats “perfect” when the alternative is “not at all”.

Weather that lets the door stay open
A mild evening turns dinner into a picnic and gives Sam his moment to supervise the neighborhood. It changes the tone of the night. The roof that opens in my Jeep. The cost of living in LA reminds us to appreciate the weather frequently.

Traditions that we choose
My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. My wife’s is Passover. My mom usually flies in for Thanksgiving – her birthday falls that week, so there’s always cake next to the pie. My wife’s famous Passover seders have become a destination event, testing the limits of Airbnb kitchens throughout California. We lean into these holidays and invite friends of any background because the point is the people, and we make food the star of the show, since we need to eat anyway.

Work we’re proud of and boundaries that mostly hold
I’m grateful for clients and colleagues who are willing to work around my kids’ sporting event or a parent-teacher conference, as well as a wife that understands that I’m going to be working a lot on the weekends. That flexibility allows balance, which keeps the train on the track.

Small rituals that actually happen
A “best thing today” around the table. Ten minutes of reading before bed. One family photo where everyone is actually looking at the camera, even Sam. Low effort, high return.

Sam
He gets his own line. He arrived in our family in March 2020, right when he was needed most. He forces walks, cleans under our chairs, and knows exactly when he’s supposed to go into each kid’s room for bedtime or to guard the house. He is also the only one who never talks back.

Health

We’re at the age where we’re taking care of kids on one side and worrying about aging parents on the other. Some days we’re scheduling orthodontists and physicals; other days we’re anxiously awaiting results of cardiology appointments and cancer screenings. I’m thankful that, for the most part, our family is healthy… and that scarlet fever can be easily treated with antibiotics. The sandwich generation is real, but so is the perspective it gives: nothing tops health.

Gratitude, for me, is less about big moments and more about noticing the small ones that make the big moments possible. Taking the time to notice what I’m grateful has made me dwell less on setbacks and frustrations, but instead to focus on the reasons life is good.