My Family’s Thanksgiving Traditions

Ever since I was a kid, other than my birthday, Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday. 

My Grandmother, Terry (my mom’s mother), was one of four sisters, each born four years apart, who were very close to one another. When they married and had children, they started a tradition of getting together every Thanksgiving for a big holiday meal and the “best” company – their own families.

Each year, a different sister would host the gathering at their own home in North Jersey. These gatherings were quite large with 30-40 attendees annually, several flying in from different states. The accents of New Joysey and Eastern European immigrants filled the room with a cast of characters that was almost Seinfeldian, although this mostly preceded the television show. The host sister would prepare the turkey and set the tables and each sister would prepare their signature specialty item. My Grandmother’s specialty was stuffed cabbage rolls, served before the main course. Other items included Aunt Hannah’s baked rugalach and brisket (her husband, Uncle Leo, an Austrian immigrant who sounded like Schwarzenegger, but looked like a librarian, was not a fan of turkey), salads, sweet potato casserole with pineapple rings on top, homemade cranberry sauce, and string bean casserole, followed by a variety of pies. The damages from unavoidable food accidents were mitigated by the fact that much of the upholstery was covered in protective plastic.

As a young child, I was most interested in the food and in watching football, but getting out of there without a sloppy kiss from one of my aunts was also a priority. For a long time, I was the youngest, but as an only child, I was used to being around older folks, and getting to know my aunts, uncles, and cousins was also interesting. People from all different professions: chemists, lawyers, teachers, guidance counselors, homemakers, school administrators, engineers, and real estate executives. Each had a different personality and a unique take on the world. My great uncle Abe made a memorable impression with his sense of humor with his annual proclamation pun that “I grew some.” One year, when I was 10 years old, I looked around and realized that many of the “younger” men were exactly 10 years apart in age.  Marty was 50, Jerry was 40, David was 30, Matt was 20, and I was 10.  Neat!  What were the odds?

After clean-up, typically done by the women of the family (hey, it was the ‘80’s and early ‘90’s), most of the men went for walks around the neighborhood, hit golf balls at a local range, or succumbed to the tryptophan and fell asleep while watching the Cowboys game. These are some of my most vivid memories of those gatherings.

After many years of the large family Thanksgivings, the grandparents got older and my mom’s cousins spread across the country and the world, so getting together became more difficult. Around the same time, I went away to college in Colorado and later moved to California. While my parents’ generation continued to host small gatherings, getting to the East Coast was less convenient, so I missed most of them in my late teens through late twenties. During this time, I only heard stories of my stepfather, Bill’s, ceremonial placing of the turkey carcass on a tree stump in the backyard after the meal to help teach my young cousin Cole about the wild critters that would completely remove every bit of meat and bone from the stump within a day. However, I suspect his ulterior motive was to lure squirrels that had been invading and damaging his attic into range for pest control/target practice with his pellet gun.

After about a decade of “Friendsgivings”, we began a new tradition. My wife and I and my in-laws began to host my mom on the West Coast. Certainly, a much smaller gathering now, yet with plenty of good food and new specialties (my wife and sons make a mean butternut squash soup and my mother-in-law handles most of the other fixings). There are now fewer Eastern European accents, but nearly as much kvetching. It is still my favorite holiday (other than my birthday) and with my wife’s love of hosting celebratory family meals, we expect this tradition to continue with us for a while.

Compare